Guys. I am woke. Yesterday was a day of new information I have yet to process so I thought I'd share with you guys on what I learned.
First Off, I Have 3 Exits
Ladies, did you always know that? All my life, I've always thought I had 2 holes in my nether region and even though I've touched myself in the past, never have I ever felt that there was a third hole which is specifically used for peeing.
So it all started when a co-worker was asking where can she find one of those menstrual cups that can be reused constantly.
This is a menstrual cup. Basically, instead of absorbing the blood like tampons, it collects the blood, and after a few hours, you can take it out, empty it and reuse it again after washing.
So while we were on that subject, I joked, "What if you have to pee tho? Wouldn't it overflow the cup?"
And that's when the entire room fell silent, and my colleagues just stared at me like, "Uhh... did you know that you pee from a different hole?"
And I was like, "What? No way! Doesn't the pee hole and the birthing hole come from the same exit?"
And that's when everybody started losing their tits and called the ENTIRE office in for an intervention.
SO the entire office was there including my boss and his son! And my co-worker was like, "Guys. We have an emergency. How many holes do you think women have?"
And to my surprise, everybody answered 3! Like, where TF is the third one? Even one of my colleagues who was a doctor also told me there was a hidden one.
Later on, I even looked up the female reproductive diagram because I just couldn't believe it. How can I not feel that I'm peeing from a different hole?
And sure enough, there was 3! #mindblown
Until now, I have yet to find that mystical hole because I'm currently on my period and I want my discovery to be a bit more neater, but today, I'm now peeing with a heightened awareness.
There's another thing I've also learned on Friday (I told you it was a woke Friday).
Relationships Are VERY Confusing
I mean, I've always known that dating in the modern world is hard, but in this day and age, its getting a lot more complicated than before!
Ok, so back story. In my life, not counting the few fling dates where it just did not work out, I've only dated about 4 people so far (and by that, I mean 3 dates or more).
My view of the dating scene is very simple; if two people like each other enough, they would continue to see each other until the relationship eventually dies or is taken to a new level.
Maybe I've always been a very carefree person who usually goes with the flow, but I find that these days, a lot of people have certain expectations of the future and what they're looking for. Which is fair enough, but I mean sometimes it could be unwise to put the cart before the horse, if you know what I mean.
Because really, people change and so do their views. I might enjoy the single life for now, but I do imagine settling down one day, possibly in 10 years or so. Hopefully, in that time, science would be modernized and maybe I wouldn't have to go through pregnancy because the thought of it scares the living daylights out of me.
I'm still undecided about having kids, but I like to keep my options open. In that sense, to ask me now if I'm looking for a long term relationship, I wouldn't know how to answer because I just don't know. It really depends on the current partner and if I like him enough to bring it up to the next level and vice versa.
I remember the first time I was with my ex, he told me that he couldn't do the boyfriend thing and I was OK with that because I was undecided myself and I imagine that we would separate in 3 months or so.
3 years later, the relationship died down and we went our own ways. He did the boyfriend thing and I was surprised that we lasted this long. We just had a mutual liking for each other and it eventually bloomed into a close friendship until we drifted apart.
I always thought relationships were as simple as that; if two people liked each other enough, they will continue to see each other until you either drift apart or take it to a new level.
And if you're wondering about the first and second one, the first was a LDR so that couldn't possibly work and the second wanted a threesome and I wasn't down for that,
Ok now we come to the fourth one. Now this one is new and it has really challenged my views about the dating world and I am confused AF.
So we've been seeing each other for a month now. I'd say we got along pretty well and I thought he really liked me by the body language. I was still deciding if he's someone that I might want to continue seeing in the future until he sent me this long text about his friends' impression of our relationship (friend thought I was his gf) and that he's not looking for a relationship anytime in the future.
This is why you never post your dates on social media. Anyway.
Basically, he said that he really likes hanging out with me and would love to continue seeing me in the future, but there can never be any relationship, even though he likes to idea of getting married and having kids, but not anytime soon. We're only dating, but not in a relationship.
So what is a relationship really? From what I understand, maybe he doesn't really like me that much and so I was a little disappointed. But then again, he wants to continue seeing me and that got me stumped. Are you taking me out on a pity date? Do you just wanna be fuck buddies? Do you want to be friends only?
Look, I'm a very direct person and I hate to beat around the bush. Either you wanna continue dating me or you don't. Its as simple as that.
Plus, he tells his friends that he's dating, but not in a relationship and that's perfectly fine by me. I'm not sure if this could possibly go anywhere, but I'm willing to try and see what happens.
Because truth be told, I really love being single. I'm a hot blooded young female with pretty decent looks and I like to enjoy it while I still can. I wanna own a studio one day and decorate it exactly how I want it to be with a walk-in closet, large bookshelves, a cosy swing, lots of flowers hanging on the balcony with a little kitchen for my experiment. I want my own makeup table with lights all around and a sunny space where I can do my yoga and exercise. I could then bring in my girlfriends to have a drink and chat and occasionally bring in a guy or two.
Of course, having a family might be on the agenda one day, but not anytime soon. I'm at that point where a couple of people I know have already got married and divorced. To be stuck with a burden like that at a young age is tough and so I like to take it slow, really make sure I get it right the first time.
And so, when no. 4 said that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, but wants to 'hang out', I was confused. To me, any interaction with a person is a relationship; a mother, a colleague, a friend, etc. He's definitely not a boyfriend, but someone I'm seeing and that is a kind of relationship nonetheless. Did he mean a serious relationship with a title? I dunno. I later told him that I'd keep my distance if that's the case. I don't need that kind of confusion in my life.
Anyway, I won't delve into it any further. I'm just looking for a companionship with someone who's company I truly enjoy with the benefits of sex (not a friend with benefits, mind you. A friend with benefits is purely sexual, no movies or dates involved. Not my thing). If I like him enough, we might talk about taking it into the next level in a year or two, but that's about it.
Shouldn't dating be as simple as that?
Anne is the author and founder of this blog. She likes to write about current issues, travels, food and the general struggles of a millennial.