Ladies, at some point in our lives, we’ve all had to face some unwanted attention especially from our close male peers. You like him, but you do not see a romantic future with him and would prefer to maintain an amicable relationship as before. So you wanna friendzone him.
The problem is that some guys may take it the wrong way and the relationship is completely ruined if not handled properly. Now, I’m no expert, but here’s some of the things I’d do to keep that friendship with a male peer without causing any heartache.
Note that this applies to the guys who have shown obvious interest in you, but have not said so directly. If he has expressly shown that he likes you and have told you before, then you owe him the same courtesy by telling him straight up that you’re not interested. Harsh, but in the long run, it really is the kindest thing you can do instead of wasting his time and keep him hanging.
Its like pulling the trigger, causing a quick death, instead of a slow torture of hitting him again, and again, and again, and again with spoon repeatedly for years until he dies. Same thing.
1. Never Allow Him to Treat You
The #1 rule I’d always follow is to never take advantage of the guy. Do not let him pay the bill, do not let him drive you around (unless you’re in a group), don’t ask him for favours. Nada.
When it comes to favours, there’s always an expectation from these gestures. Do not owe him anything, and always pay for yourself whenever you can. The only time I allow a man to buy me dinner is only if I like him. As a formal rule of etiquette (yeah, I’m a little traditional), allowing a man to take care of the bills shows that they can take care of you, and that you can depend on them in the future.
However, if I’m not interested, the feminist in me comes out and I will insist on paying for my own bills and I shall drive myself home, thank you.
2. Always Include a Band of Friends
Friends can be the biggest cock blockers. Use it to your advantage!
Whenever he wants to ‘hang out’, always offer to include some friends to come along with you. Going out for coffee? Sure, let me call Susan, Jess, Pete and Mel too!
Never go out alone with him. Otherwise, that could be a date. Sure, they always say its ‘just as friends’ but you and I know better. Always bring friends along.
3. Keep Dropping Hints
“Oh my, you’re such a good friend.”
“You’re just like the brother I’ve never had!”
You know, those few hints. It makes the message pretty clear and if he gets it, hopefully he backs off. Never get physical by touching his arm or play footsies under the table or nothing.
For me personally, I’m only touchy feely with a few close people like my mom or aunt and a few close female friends. That’s when I’d like to hold their hands when we go out. If its with a guy I like, I might hold his hands if I like him enough.
4. Be Nice, But Don’t be a Bitch
If he texts you, don’t ignore him, or be so cold. Talk to him and be as nice as you usually are. However, if he starts getting flirty, just divert to a different subject by asking about the weather or something. Try to avoid getting in that conversation and always keep to neutral subjects unless he gets direct.
5. Match Make Him with Other Female Friends
If you can’t be The One for him, you can certainly do him a favour by matching him up with someone you think he might like. That way, it shows that you are certainly not interested in him and maybe you might be able to divert the attention away to someone else who might appreciate it more than you do. It’s a win-win situation!
So there you go! Hope these few tips are helpful in successfully maintaining that friendly relationship without hurting any feelings. But even if they do end up getting hurt, at least they can’t blame you for the way they feel. Always be kind and try to treat them the best way you can to a human being.
Anne is the author and founder of this blog. She likes to write about current issues, travels, food and the general struggles of a millennial.